Has It Been Two Months Already?

Today my neck is sore, so I have skipped my morning at the gym. I should probably clean, but I can’t do much of anything without hurting, so I am seizing the opportunity to blog. Since it has been over two months, there is quite a bit to cover.

I present to you… Bullet Points.

• OYWB officially ended February 1st. Hooray! I expected, as did my children, that there would be a ceremonious trip to the store to make a long awaited purchase. Instead we had snow!

• I love snow days, and I love that my children have experienced so many of them! It definitely didn’t snow this much during MY Texas childhood. That’s okay. I’m sure that I appreciate it more now than I would have then.

• Our church held our annual C3 Conference. It was AMAZING, as always. Andy and I were blessed to host Pastor Shannon O’Dell and his family during the conference and the following weekend. They are beautiful, humble, genuine people, passionately chasing down God’s plan for their lives and their church. I am teary eyed just thinking about them! Truly. I am deeply grateful for the people I have the opportunity to meet through Fellowship!

• Maybe some of these bullet points are going to be long.

• Get over it. You can skim if you don’t want to read.

• I went to a one-day conference for parents of gifted and talented children. WOW. As a gifted person, it was validating. As a parent, it was encouraging.

• My mom and younger siblings came to town for a visit. Much food was eaten.

• We had several opportunities to spend time with people in our lives who we don’t know well. I love the community that I live in and the people of my church en mass, but I feel like I don’t know many of the individuals. Do you know your neighbors? Do you know the people you serve with at church?

• Parker took his pet, Alvin The Biting Hamster, to show-and-tell. Good news! Alvin didn’t bite any of Parker’s classmates… only Parker. Poor baby.

• We were blessed with beautiful weather for Spring Break, and spent nearly all day every day out in the glorious sun. We then spent nearly every evening inside sniffling and sneezing. Allergies.

• We checked out Dinosaur Valley State Park, which was cool. Lots of easy hiking and climbing. And then we ate at Dairy Queen, which is an event in itself.

• Andy spent a night of the Break camping alone at Mineral Wells State Park. The boys were a little bummed that they weren’t going along, so I set up our newest tent in the living room. It required moving all of the furniture, but we could still see the tv from in the tent. And THAT is what is important when you’re 10 and 8 and your allergies have trapped you in your house.

• Jackson’s Fifth Grade Choir participated in our district’s annual Elementary Choir Festival last Tuesday, which consisted of every elementary school in our district plus one high school performance choir. Throw in equipment failure, a rogue bird, a power outage, and some jazz hands... Did I mention that we have twenty one elementary schools? It was much longer than it sounds.

• This year, Andy and I celebrate our tenth anniversary. Hooray! As a part of our celebration, I am having some bling added to my ring. I’ll post an update when it comes back from the jeweler. I’m so excited!

• Speaking of excitement, we have some possibility on the adoption front! We have been included in the selection process for adopting a little boy, and also for a pair of brothers. The truly exciting thing about this news is that soon, these boys will have their forever families. It may not be ours, but I know that God will provide them with the families that they need.

 

So, rejoice and pray with me through the ups and downs of our story, and over these updates about others:

Our friends, the Ballast family of Seattle, have adopted little Z all the way from Ethiopia. He is finally home!

Joanne Heim, who suffered a stroke in January, is recovering quite well. She is a walking miracle!

 

Our Year Without Buying: January Update

Look at that… We’re almost done! Including today, there are only fourteen days left in our little challenge. I think I can make it from here.

However

I didn’t have it together enough to make Christmas a completely purchase-free event. We made gifts for our extended family, but still bought some clothes and things for the boys. And they got toys from Santa.

Thinking about children without Christmas gifts breaks my heart. I admire those who struggle, who get by with less and teach their children that the gifts aren’t what is important. But we aren’t struggling. We’re just not buying things as kind of a game. Although we focus our family on Jesus, and talk about giving, they are still little boys who know what we have. They would be so hurt to know that we could bless them with gifts but simply choose not to. Jackson may have been able to tolerate it, but Parker would completely lose his mind. I don’t know that gifts are his top love language, but he would be devastated if he didn’t get anything that he asked for.

And remember back at the beginning when I said that I didn’t want to send the boys to school looking like street urchins? We were getting to that point. There’s a limit to how much sock should be showing beyond the legs of the pants. For real.

We also had an opportunity to bless another family this Christmas. We were talking about the family over dinner one night, discussing ways in which we could help. Parker piped up, “Jackson and I have lots of money… We could buy them a gift!” So that weekend, I took the boys to Target to do a little shopping. They started out strong, but once we had spent a few minutes in the toy section, their resolve began to waver. There were so many things that they wanted for themselves… It was a challenge for them to spend their hard-earned money on a stranger. But they did it! I am quite proud.

Here’s a gray-area with OYWB: Gift cards. Andy ran out and spent all of his, pretty much right away. He didn’t spend money, so… still good? But I haven’t let the kids spend the gift cards that they’ve received throughout the year, so I didn’t feel right about spending mine. But I did return a gift and pick out some other things in exchange. Does that count? Probably.

Ugh.

At any rate, I’ll be glad when February 1st arrives!

Lately

*NOTE* This post is super long and incredibly linktastic! Don’t feel pressured to click any of the links, unless of course you want to know what I’m talking about. And you have loads of time. And maybe some tissues.

This long absence from the blog was quite unplanned. I would think about things to write, fully intending to sit down and get to it, but never made it happen. I’ve missed writing, but most of all I’ve missed reading other blogs!

But blog time can sometimes seep into other time, like cooking time, or cleaning time, or gym time. And then I end up eating junk food in a dirty kitchen and feeling bad about my fitness level and (lack of) time management skills. But blog time is me time, so I’m going to make sure I get some of it back into my life on a regular basis.

Now, today I can have as much blog time as I want, because my awesome husband took care of the house yesterday while I was sick in bed. It’s nothing serious… just a really annoying head cold. Andy gave me express orders to take it easy today, so I am.

Before I dive into long hours of reading and sipping tea, I want to give you an update on what’s been going on around here lately.

We’re almost done with Our Year Without Buying! I just finished a post about that, which will go up after this one. C’mon, February First!

The canine population of the Boyd Abode has been en flux over the past twelve months. With two litters of puppies coming and going, we had lots of youthful excitement. In bitter contrast, at the end of November we said goodbye to our sweet old Courtney Rae. Liberty has been a bit strange since then. She’s more needy now than before. If you know her, you are no doubt wondering, “HOW is that possible?”

I can’t explain it. It just is what it is.

We had a very quiet Christmas this year, completely unintentionally. With much of the family out of town, the schedule of celebrations shifted and we strayed from tradition. This gave me the opportunity to prepare my first ever holiday meal, which was quite exciting for me. I served it to my little family of four on my great-grandmother’s china. Next year will be very different, I’m sure. For one thing, we’re hoping that our little family of four will have expanded to five or maybe six.

Speaking of which… We are officially licensed to adopt! We’re just waiting to be the right family for the right kid. Or kids. God is leading this journey, and only He knows for certain what destination awaits us. We are so excited to be on our way!

Right now, we are fasting with our Fellowship Church family. This is a Daniel Fast, which is a partial fast... Basically a vegan diet. It’s definitely a stretch for me, a girl who loves to eat animals and things that come from them. Sorry, PETA.

A favorite Deep Thought, by Jack Handey:

“If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of meat?”

Any who… Last year, I found ways to satisfy my sweet tooth while still following the fast. This year, I’m more into soup. And straight up syrup. I feel like Elf, adding pure maple syrup to my tea and whole wheat spaghetti.

Now to be serious.

There are two families on my prayer docket who I am feeling led to talk about. Even if you pray for them for just one little second, it would be really cool. And maybe life changing. My prayers for them are similar, though their circumstances are rather different. I am praying for each family’s strength and comfort as they wait and cope, and for the wisdom and ability of the medical staff involved.

The first is the Heim family, Toben and Joanne, and their two young girls, Audrey and Emma. Joanne has suffered a stroke and is fighting for her life. I don’t know them at all. I’ve read Joanne’s blog a time or two, and became aware the situation through another blogger, Marla Taviano. This has forced me to consider the fragility of life in general, and my own plans, specifically. For Joanne, I pray for a miraculous recovery, that her health would be completely restored in every way.

The second is the Ridder family, who we have known personally for nearly a decade. Nick and Alecia, and their kids Kate, Luke, and infant twin girls Brooke and Layne. I just got word this morning, while typing this very post, that little Layne is very sick. Her tiny system is battling two illnesses at once: Strep and flu. As a parent, I know how helpless I feel when a child is sick. I pray that Laine gets well in a hurry, and that these contagious illnesses are not passed to anyone else in the family.

I know that God has things well in hand, and that His timing is perfect. Thank you for joining me in praying for these families!

13 I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.
                      Psalm 27:13-14

The Destination

Last week, I explained to you what our journey feels like. Now I’ll tell you what it actually is:

We are ADOPTING!

So, if you care to read it, here’s the story... prologue and all:

I never thought I wanted more than two kids. I grew up in a house with two kids. All of my cousins have come in sets of two. My marriage is a set of two. I have two hands... It just made sense to me. Two is manageable. Two is enough, isn’t it?

Then God called me to that wide gravel path; the perfect place to find a new direction and think it over for a while. I was reading a fictional novel that was centered on a girl in the foster care system. And while this book was a work of fiction, it haunted me that many of the issues this child was facing are a reality in the lives of others. I thought, This is something we could do. We could be a light in a child’s life through foster care. Andy and I talked about it, and excitedly agreed that we could offer a great foster home to children in need when our two boys have grown and gone.

Feeling at peace with this slow plan, we buried it in a time capsule to be opened in 2021. Or, I should say, we thought we did. As the months passed, God kept reminding me of this call, this need that He had positioned us to meet. At the same time, He pointed out my own needs and desires that would be met in His plan.

On April 25th, Christine Caine was preaching at our church. At one point in her message, she was speaking of a girl who had been rescued from human trafficking. This girl looked Christine in the eye and asked her, “Why didn’t you come sooner?” When Christine spoke those words, it felt as though a lightning bolt had struck my heart. What are we waiting for? Why should we wait? Because it will be “easy” when the boys are grown? How many times has God called me to do what is easy?

Never.

It is an understatement to say that I was rattled. Satan seized the opportunity to get in my head. I can’t remember whether or not I told Andy about the lightning bolt. If I told him, I’m sure my speech lacked any recognizable confidence. I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t particularly want to hear what God was saying, so I turned inward. I felt very alone.

Months passed.

But God did not leave me. He continued to press me, repeatedly bringing these hurting children to the forefront of my mind. God worked on me to bring the desire of my heart in line with His. I knew exactly what God was telling me to do, but I wondered why He was only telling ME. I prayed that He would communicate this plan to Andy as well, and I imagined a magnificent moment when it would all come together… But it didn’t. I prayed that God would reach in and change Andy’s heart, that Andy would share my urgency. I even gave God another choice in the matter: Change Andy’s heart OR change mine. If I’m seeing this whole thing wrong, fix me, God.

Well, He did. But not in the way I was expecting. God let me know, in no uncertain terms, that sharing this vision with Andy was my burden to bear.

So to fix me, He broke me.

In a flurry of words and tears, I laid it all out one Monday evening while I was making dinner. Before I was even done talking, Andy had made an appointment to have coffee with a friend of ours who, along with his wife, has fostered several children. By the end of the week, we had gone to an information meeting and shared our vision with Jackson and Parker.

In the information meeting, it became crystal clear that God’s plan for us is adoption. So, we are planning and pursuing the adoption of a school-age local boy. We don’t know who he is or when he will be ours, but I know that God does.

It has been amazing to live this story as it unfolds. We have several friends and family members who are adopted, and others who have adopted or have had the seed planted in their hearts, that someday they might. As time passes, more and more people join this little community of support. I am so grateful for them, especially after the months I spent feeling very alone.

We have completed our required training classes, background checks, health screenings, and the like. Tomorrow afternoon we are having our home study, and then we wait. In my last post, I talked about the valley ahead. For me, this time in waiting is the valley. Generally speaking, I don’t think I’m very good at waiting. But I have plenty to do to ready our home, so that this waiting time can be spent in active preparation.


The mountain on the other side of this valley is the work that we face when the waiting is over. Having another child physically present in our home is one thing. That’s what all of the pre-placement requirements have been for. The mountain ahead is the challenge that our family will meet together, embracing this new son and becoming a family.

(By the way, Andy shared the news in a video on his blog a while back. Give it a listen if you are interested in getting his perspective. It’s almost the same as mine. Almost.)

The Journey

In the summer of 2009, God set my feet on a path. It was like a wide country road, with trees on one side and fields on the other; remote and empty but not at all lonely. It felt breezy and sunny, with just the suggestion of a destination down the line, but no rush to get there. A slow, easy summer stroll.

I told Andy about it, and he stepped on the path alongside me.

And then fall came.

And then winter.

And through my days, God occasionally reminded me of the path. He gently suggested that I might want to move a little faster. That I might want to reach the destination sooner than my current pace would allow. I wasn’t sure. Would Andy want to move faster? And what about the boys? They don’t even know we’re on this path.

Spring arrived.

I kept my leisurely pace.

God’s gentle suggestions lost their subtlety. His breezy whispers became gusts at my back.

On April 25, 2010, a lightning bolt struck my heart, and I knew that I had waited too long. I was being disobedient to God, languishing along this easy stretch of road.

Still, I did nothing. I hid behind my doubt. Someone slid out of the trees, offered me an apple, and whispered lies to me. Andy won’t be ready for this. The boys won’t like it.

Summer again.

The path became more defined. There could be no doubt that this path was ours to take. The wind picked up and thunder rolled, urging me to hasten my steps.

I started to prepare for the journey, but still hesitated to go.

Finally, when I found myself without a shred of peace left in my heart, I spilled it all to Andy in a torrential downpour of tears. Before I could even get it all out, he was lacing up his running shoes.

Hand in hand, we took off without looking back. The silence and stillness of the beginning has evolved into music and motion.

Now our path feels like a race course. Our boys are running with us, excited about each completed step; anticipating the future. As we pass landmarks and checkpoints, we can see what is ahead. Many familiar faces have greeted us along the way, sharing wisdom and encouragement. We are grateful for every one of them.

Between us and the finish line, there lies a valley and a mountain. From here, there is no telling how deep the valley will be or how long it will take us to pass. And that mountain looks pretty high, but I’m not afraid to climb it.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Hebrews 12:1

Things I Love About Baudelaire (BO-de-lare)

When Liberty had her first litter of puppies last Thanksgiving, we weren’t planning on keeping any. But by Christmas, one little fur ball had snuggled his way into our hearts for good.

I ADORE him. Seriously. Look. At that. FACE.

He likes to lay on my feet. If I am relatively still for any amount of time, he will come and lay down on my feet. He lays on my feet when I do dishes. He lays on my feet when I’m at the computer. He’s doing it right now.

When I do the laundry, Baudie sits on the floor facing the dryer. He seems to be fascinated as I pull out the dry clothes. He gets excited when I throw in the wet clothes. Sometimes he even sticks his head in to get a closer look.

He closes his eyes when I pet him.

He leaps and dances in circles when it’s time to eat. “Food” is the magic word to send him spinning.

He eats toys, especially small ones, thus motivating my children to keep their rooms clean. This same dynamic is what motivates us to keep the lawn clean. Gross, but highly effective.

He chases his tail. MADLY.

His favorite chew toy is an empty water bottle. It doesn’t last long, but that’s okay. If we have one around, I’ll let him chew it until it’s almost unrecognizable, and then I’ll toss it into the recycle bin. It’s like recycling twice!

He fetches sticks. I’ve never had a dog that would do that!

Baudie’s latest toy-that-isn’t-really-a-toy is his stainless steel food dish. He pushes it around the floor, and runs around the house with it in his mouth. It makes me laugh every time.

 He loves his momma. And NO, I don’t mean me. I mean his actual momma, the Liberty Belle. Chances are, if he isn’t laying on my feet, he’s laying on hers.

My Little Baudelaire was cute as a tiny puppy, but I love him even more now… I can’t walk past him without petting him. I can’t stay mad at him for anything. I love to see his sweet face when he has just woken up.

And now, we have an entire litter of baby Baudie siblings!

Baudie is a very attentive big brother. I don’t think he realizes how much bigger he truly is!

I’m sure you’ll want one for yourself. Maybe this one.

Our Year Without Buying: July Update

We are just over a week from our half-way point in Our Year Without Buying and, I must say, it’s going pretty well. We aren’t actually saving any money, but I’m okay with that. Saving was only part of the goal, and I feel good about where the money we are spending has gone:

We knew from the beginning that Parker and I were going to need new bathing suits this year. I didn’t bring it up before, because I don’t like to talk about masochistic issues. I was seriously in denial about it. I’m sure this old suit will do just fine. I don’t REALLY need to buy a new one. Do I? One sad trip to the waterpark later, and I was checking out the swimsuit racks at the mall. It was weird to go shopping, even though it was a planned exception.

I also bought myself some much needed workout wear for the gym, which we joined in May. Perhaps the new swimsuit has motivated me beyond the poolside. The gym clothes were a total cheat on the challenge. Sorry, but I’m not sorry.

I still haven’t bought P’s new suit because, unlike mine, his seems to be holding together. I’m going to have to break down and get one this week, though, because I have fears of sending him to camp with shoddy swim trunks. I just know the waistband will finally fail, and humiliate my baby. I shudder at the thought of it.

Speaking of camp, I can hardly wait! One week from Sunday, our boys are headed to Allaso Ranch. The boys will actually be there at the same time this year. It’s P’s first time to go, but Jackson is an old pro. It’s been really sweet to listen to J tell P about all of the cool stuff they get to do. I can tell that P is a little nervous, but I’m sure that having big brother there will help him cope.

Last month we took a weekend road trip to Sea World San Antonio. Andy’s cousin, who works for SW, hooked us up BIG TIME. We enjoyed Quick Queue passes for both days, and All Day Dining passes on Saturday. The QQ passes allow you to skip the line, walking up the exit and hopping right on the ride. I felt like a bit of jerk, butting in front of hundreds of people who had been waiting, but at the same time, I was deeply grateful that we didn’t have to stand in those long lines with our boys! The dining passes are worth every penny. Amusement park food is expensive! Bottled water at the park is almost $3 per 20oz bottle, but with the dining pass, you just pick up a water, wave your wrist band, and keep going. As much as you want, all day long. Now that we’ve been spoiled, I don’t imagine I will ever want to go back to the usual amusement park experience.

We’ve spent some money on a few home improvement projects as well, which I’ll write about later. This post is long enough as it is… I don’t want to keep you here all day.

Even though Andy and I haven’t been storing up any extra savings, the boys are collecting their allowance each week with nowhere to spend it. They’re excited about their expanding pocketbooks… Parker says that he wants to extend this little experiment to FIVE years without buying, so he can save enough for a massive Lego set that he wants. I told him that he is more than welcome to do that on his own.

So maybe we should call this "Our Year Without Buying, Sort Of" or "Our Year Without Buying, Mostly." Even though we've made more exceptions than I would like, I would call it a success thus far. We haven't brought any more useless stuff into the house, so we haven't thrown any packaging away. The boys are excited about saving, and are talking less and less about what they are saving for. It will be interesting to see what P chooses to do with his money next February. I for one am looking forward to doing a little shopping!