The Destination

Last week, I explained to you what our journey feels like. Now I’ll tell you what it actually is:

We are ADOPTING!

So, if you care to read it, here’s the story... prologue and all:

I never thought I wanted more than two kids. I grew up in a house with two kids. All of my cousins have come in sets of two. My marriage is a set of two. I have two hands... It just made sense to me. Two is manageable. Two is enough, isn’t it?

Then God called me to that wide gravel path; the perfect place to find a new direction and think it over for a while. I was reading a fictional novel that was centered on a girl in the foster care system. And while this book was a work of fiction, it haunted me that many of the issues this child was facing are a reality in the lives of others. I thought, This is something we could do. We could be a light in a child’s life through foster care. Andy and I talked about it, and excitedly agreed that we could offer a great foster home to children in need when our two boys have grown and gone.

Feeling at peace with this slow plan, we buried it in a time capsule to be opened in 2021. Or, I should say, we thought we did. As the months passed, God kept reminding me of this call, this need that He had positioned us to meet. At the same time, He pointed out my own needs and desires that would be met in His plan.

On April 25th, Christine Caine was preaching at our church. At one point in her message, she was speaking of a girl who had been rescued from human trafficking. This girl looked Christine in the eye and asked her, “Why didn’t you come sooner?” When Christine spoke those words, it felt as though a lightning bolt had struck my heart. What are we waiting for? Why should we wait? Because it will be “easy” when the boys are grown? How many times has God called me to do what is easy?

Never.

It is an understatement to say that I was rattled. Satan seized the opportunity to get in my head. I can’t remember whether or not I told Andy about the lightning bolt. If I told him, I’m sure my speech lacked any recognizable confidence. I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t particularly want to hear what God was saying, so I turned inward. I felt very alone.

Months passed.

But God did not leave me. He continued to press me, repeatedly bringing these hurting children to the forefront of my mind. God worked on me to bring the desire of my heart in line with His. I knew exactly what God was telling me to do, but I wondered why He was only telling ME. I prayed that He would communicate this plan to Andy as well, and I imagined a magnificent moment when it would all come together… But it didn’t. I prayed that God would reach in and change Andy’s heart, that Andy would share my urgency. I even gave God another choice in the matter: Change Andy’s heart OR change mine. If I’m seeing this whole thing wrong, fix me, God.

Well, He did. But not in the way I was expecting. God let me know, in no uncertain terms, that sharing this vision with Andy was my burden to bear.

So to fix me, He broke me.

In a flurry of words and tears, I laid it all out one Monday evening while I was making dinner. Before I was even done talking, Andy had made an appointment to have coffee with a friend of ours who, along with his wife, has fostered several children. By the end of the week, we had gone to an information meeting and shared our vision with Jackson and Parker.

In the information meeting, it became crystal clear that God’s plan for us is adoption. So, we are planning and pursuing the adoption of a school-age local boy. We don’t know who he is or when he will be ours, but I know that God does.

It has been amazing to live this story as it unfolds. We have several friends and family members who are adopted, and others who have adopted or have had the seed planted in their hearts, that someday they might. As time passes, more and more people join this little community of support. I am so grateful for them, especially after the months I spent feeling very alone.

We have completed our required training classes, background checks, health screenings, and the like. Tomorrow afternoon we are having our home study, and then we wait. In my last post, I talked about the valley ahead. For me, this time in waiting is the valley. Generally speaking, I don’t think I’m very good at waiting. But I have plenty to do to ready our home, so that this waiting time can be spent in active preparation.


The mountain on the other side of this valley is the work that we face when the waiting is over. Having another child physically present in our home is one thing. That’s what all of the pre-placement requirements have been for. The mountain ahead is the challenge that our family will meet together, embracing this new son and becoming a family.

(By the way, Andy shared the news in a video on his blog a while back. Give it a listen if you are interested in getting his perspective. It’s almost the same as mine. Almost.)

The Journey

In the summer of 2009, God set my feet on a path. It was like a wide country road, with trees on one side and fields on the other; remote and empty but not at all lonely. It felt breezy and sunny, with just the suggestion of a destination down the line, but no rush to get there. A slow, easy summer stroll.

I told Andy about it, and he stepped on the path alongside me.

And then fall came.

And then winter.

And through my days, God occasionally reminded me of the path. He gently suggested that I might want to move a little faster. That I might want to reach the destination sooner than my current pace would allow. I wasn’t sure. Would Andy want to move faster? And what about the boys? They don’t even know we’re on this path.

Spring arrived.

I kept my leisurely pace.

God’s gentle suggestions lost their subtlety. His breezy whispers became gusts at my back.

On April 25, 2010, a lightning bolt struck my heart, and I knew that I had waited too long. I was being disobedient to God, languishing along this easy stretch of road.

Still, I did nothing. I hid behind my doubt. Someone slid out of the trees, offered me an apple, and whispered lies to me. Andy won’t be ready for this. The boys won’t like it.

Summer again.

The path became more defined. There could be no doubt that this path was ours to take. The wind picked up and thunder rolled, urging me to hasten my steps.

I started to prepare for the journey, but still hesitated to go.

Finally, when I found myself without a shred of peace left in my heart, I spilled it all to Andy in a torrential downpour of tears. Before I could even get it all out, he was lacing up his running shoes.

Hand in hand, we took off without looking back. The silence and stillness of the beginning has evolved into music and motion.

Now our path feels like a race course. Our boys are running with us, excited about each completed step; anticipating the future. As we pass landmarks and checkpoints, we can see what is ahead. Many familiar faces have greeted us along the way, sharing wisdom and encouragement. We are grateful for every one of them.

Between us and the finish line, there lies a valley and a mountain. From here, there is no telling how deep the valley will be or how long it will take us to pass. And that mountain looks pretty high, but I’m not afraid to climb it.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Hebrews 12:1

Things I Love About Baudelaire (BO-de-lare)

When Liberty had her first litter of puppies last Thanksgiving, we weren’t planning on keeping any. But by Christmas, one little fur ball had snuggled his way into our hearts for good.

I ADORE him. Seriously. Look. At that. FACE.

He likes to lay on my feet. If I am relatively still for any amount of time, he will come and lay down on my feet. He lays on my feet when I do dishes. He lays on my feet when I’m at the computer. He’s doing it right now.

When I do the laundry, Baudie sits on the floor facing the dryer. He seems to be fascinated as I pull out the dry clothes. He gets excited when I throw in the wet clothes. Sometimes he even sticks his head in to get a closer look.

He closes his eyes when I pet him.

He leaps and dances in circles when it’s time to eat. “Food” is the magic word to send him spinning.

He eats toys, especially small ones, thus motivating my children to keep their rooms clean. This same dynamic is what motivates us to keep the lawn clean. Gross, but highly effective.

He chases his tail. MADLY.

His favorite chew toy is an empty water bottle. It doesn’t last long, but that’s okay. If we have one around, I’ll let him chew it until it’s almost unrecognizable, and then I’ll toss it into the recycle bin. It’s like recycling twice!

He fetches sticks. I’ve never had a dog that would do that!

Baudie’s latest toy-that-isn’t-really-a-toy is his stainless steel food dish. He pushes it around the floor, and runs around the house with it in his mouth. It makes me laugh every time.

 He loves his momma. And NO, I don’t mean me. I mean his actual momma, the Liberty Belle. Chances are, if he isn’t laying on my feet, he’s laying on hers.

My Little Baudelaire was cute as a tiny puppy, but I love him even more now… I can’t walk past him without petting him. I can’t stay mad at him for anything. I love to see his sweet face when he has just woken up.

And now, we have an entire litter of baby Baudie siblings!

Baudie is a very attentive big brother. I don’t think he realizes how much bigger he truly is!

I’m sure you’ll want one for yourself. Maybe this one.

Our Year Without Buying: July Update

We are just over a week from our half-way point in Our Year Without Buying and, I must say, it’s going pretty well. We aren’t actually saving any money, but I’m okay with that. Saving was only part of the goal, and I feel good about where the money we are spending has gone:

We knew from the beginning that Parker and I were going to need new bathing suits this year. I didn’t bring it up before, because I don’t like to talk about masochistic issues. I was seriously in denial about it. I’m sure this old suit will do just fine. I don’t REALLY need to buy a new one. Do I? One sad trip to the waterpark later, and I was checking out the swimsuit racks at the mall. It was weird to go shopping, even though it was a planned exception.

I also bought myself some much needed workout wear for the gym, which we joined in May. Perhaps the new swimsuit has motivated me beyond the poolside. The gym clothes were a total cheat on the challenge. Sorry, but I’m not sorry.

I still haven’t bought P’s new suit because, unlike mine, his seems to be holding together. I’m going to have to break down and get one this week, though, because I have fears of sending him to camp with shoddy swim trunks. I just know the waistband will finally fail, and humiliate my baby. I shudder at the thought of it.

Speaking of camp, I can hardly wait! One week from Sunday, our boys are headed to Allaso Ranch. The boys will actually be there at the same time this year. It’s P’s first time to go, but Jackson is an old pro. It’s been really sweet to listen to J tell P about all of the cool stuff they get to do. I can tell that P is a little nervous, but I’m sure that having big brother there will help him cope.

Last month we took a weekend road trip to Sea World San Antonio. Andy’s cousin, who works for SW, hooked us up BIG TIME. We enjoyed Quick Queue passes for both days, and All Day Dining passes on Saturday. The QQ passes allow you to skip the line, walking up the exit and hopping right on the ride. I felt like a bit of jerk, butting in front of hundreds of people who had been waiting, but at the same time, I was deeply grateful that we didn’t have to stand in those long lines with our boys! The dining passes are worth every penny. Amusement park food is expensive! Bottled water at the park is almost $3 per 20oz bottle, but with the dining pass, you just pick up a water, wave your wrist band, and keep going. As much as you want, all day long. Now that we’ve been spoiled, I don’t imagine I will ever want to go back to the usual amusement park experience.

We’ve spent some money on a few home improvement projects as well, which I’ll write about later. This post is long enough as it is… I don’t want to keep you here all day.

Even though Andy and I haven’t been storing up any extra savings, the boys are collecting their allowance each week with nowhere to spend it. They’re excited about their expanding pocketbooks… Parker says that he wants to extend this little experiment to FIVE years without buying, so he can save enough for a massive Lego set that he wants. I told him that he is more than welcome to do that on his own.

So maybe we should call this "Our Year Without Buying, Sort Of" or "Our Year Without Buying, Mostly." Even though we've made more exceptions than I would like, I would call it a success thus far. We haven't brought any more useless stuff into the house, so we haven't thrown any packaging away. The boys are excited about saving, and are talking less and less about what they are saving for. It will be interesting to see what P chooses to do with his money next February. I for one am looking forward to doing a little shopping!

Where does the time go?

Time is fascinating to me. A single day can feel like an eternity, but the youth of my children is vanishing in the blink of an eye. How can this be?

I can only imagine how my dad feels… Yesterday I celebrated my thirtieth birthday. He was here for my party this weekend, and kept shaking his head in disbelief saying, “I can’t believe my baby is thirty.” I thought I was supposed to be the one who struggled with this birthday. Go figure.

On the eve of my big birthday, Parker was reluctant to go to bed. It was lonely in his room, he said. His bed was uncomfortable, he said. He sat on turned down sheets, looking to me for rescue.

“Will you sing to me? Will you sing Rock-a-Bye Baby?”

So I stood by his bedside and cradled his lanky seven-year-old body like a baby in my arms, and sang. He made silly faces, breaking my song in spurts of laughter. I tucked him in again, but soon after I returned to the living room, there he was at the end of the hallway. Room still lonely, bed still uncomfortable. So I invited him to rock in the chair.

It didn’t take long for my mind to wander back to the days when I rocked him every night. When he and I were the only ones stirring in our dark and sleepy home, with moonlight filtering through the blinds. And back further to the days when I rocked Jackson. And one sweet memory after another, I recalled the time I shared with my children when they were really small.

I rocked my baby with tears streaming down my cheeks, just like they are right now. You see, thirty is nothing, but seven and ten seem really old to me these days.

It's About Time

Here’s a revolutionary thought: There are twenty-four hours in a day, and no matter how many things I want to get done, or how many hours I waste along the way, I can’t extend time.

Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed. Job 14:5

Recently, I have listened to The Power of Less, by Leo Babauta, on CD. Actually, I have listened to it twice. “Do less, get more done,” he says.

The Power of Less is about identifying the essential and eliminating the unnecessary. Babauta says that in order to streamline your life, you have to set limits for yourself and focus your energy on achieving your goals.

Thankfully, God has set the limit of hours in a day and the days of my life. I know that if I were in command of the number of hours I could have in a day, I would be perpetually trapped, trying to just finish ONE MORE THING.

All I have to do is figure out what is important to me, how long it will take to get done, and when I’m going to do it. I need to set limits in my own life, so that I can focus on what is important to me instead of doing every little thing that comes up.

So the other day, I sat down to organize myself in a schedule. I made a plan for the hours of the schooldays for the rest of the school year, which is now less than three weeks. Hooray! And even so, I only planned out Monday through Wednesday, because some fun out-of-the-ordinary thing is happening at school every Thursday and Friday until the end. It’s a sprint to the finish every year!

I also scheduled my summer days with the kids, including quiet time, meals, chores, swimming… Then I realized that I had left post-pool SHOWERING out of the equation. It seems I was planning for a pretty nasty summer!

It looks like I have a ton of “free” time, which left me puzzled. I am putting MORE in my schedule, but seem to have MORE time? This should prove to be true, if I work efficiently. Hmm. Just evidence that I am a blatant time waster, and reason why this verse often haunts me:

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Proverbs 31:27

OUCH.

I need to cut carbs from more than just my dinner plate! Hopefully my sparkling new schedule will help me get my stuff together.

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Growing Up

I started growing up ten years ago today. My grandmother pointed that out to me recently. We were talking about what a terrible child I was growing up. She said, “You didn’t really settle down until you had children,” as though it were a surprise… After all, how many nineteen year olds just up and decide to become settled? Not many, I imagine. None that I have ever known, anyway.

God has taught me so much during these ten years. I’ve learned that love for a child is a ferocious thing. I’ve learned what real commitment is, what relationship is all about, what it’s like to slowly, purposefully, faithfully lose control. Not that I have mastered these things. I just now know what they are.

I think of all those strong Biblical mothers who released their young sons to the will of God. Sarah, Hannah, Mary... What were their boys like at the fine age of ten? Were they sharp and testing like mine? Were they careful and skeptical? Were they imaginative? Clever? Witty? Were they dear? And loving? My Jackson is all of these things, and more.

Looking back I can hardly believe that God entrusted me, a clueless kid, with a precious baby.





I cherish the time that I have had with you, Jackson, and I look forward to the years ahead!

As you get older and seek more freedom in your days, I hope that you will lean on all that we have taught you. Don’t try to grow up too fast. Let the whole world see WHO you are and WHOSE you are.

I love you, Bubble!

Our Year Without Buying: April Update

So far, so good! I’ve never been a big shopper, so I must say that it’s been extremely easy for me to simply not shop. I’ll pass by a store that I like, thinking, “There’s no reason to stop… I have nothing to buy!” Before, I could’ve wasted an hour in Target or lost an entire afternoon browsing any of my favorite thrift stores. Not that I am swimming in extra minutes, but I am definitely enjoying more time.

And I’m really enjoying less stuff! We had a garage sale a couple of weeks ago. In preparation, I spent loads of time pilfering the cabinets and closets for anything we could do without. I was shocked at how much excess we had, stashed away. Useless. At the end of our one-day sale, we loaded what was left and hauled it away to Goodwill.

With the earnings from our sale, we bought supplies for a little garden box in the yard. There are several more things that I want to plant in it, but I haven’t made it back to the nursery. I could take all the time I’m saving by not going to Target and spend every minute (and then some!) walking the aisles of every nursery and garden center in town.



The other day I watched The Story of Stuff, by Annie Leonard, which talks about, well, stuff. Where it comes from, and where it goes. Eye opening. And I say this as a person whose eyes were already open. I cringe when I throw things away, knowing that my stuff is rotting away in a landfill. Bleh. But that’s how it is. Some things just have to be thrown away. Things beyond their usefulness, beyond salvage. Things like this:



These were J's shoes. It wasn’t a shock… I knew that we were going to have a shoe crisis. I just didn’t know it would be so dramatic, and so poorly timed. J wore these shoes, in this condition, to church Easter weekend. How embarrassing! I am SO thankful for the grandparent intervention, providing us with several new pairs. Thanks, Nana! I hope the boys appreciate this blessing as much as I do. (They probably don’t. I know.)

Speaking of Easter...

Last week, P had to take a dozen eggs to school, each stuffed with some sort of non-candy prize. I keep a stash of little junk toys in the pantry. They are all trinkets from school and birthday party goody bags. And the boys never even notice that I’ve swiped their new junk toys and put them in my little bag. So, I stuffed a dozen plastic eggs, which we already had, with little toys, which we already had. Wasteful spending averted. Whew!

The boys’ Easter baskets were a bit ironic. They were filled with candy and hygiene items. How random is that? But since we don’t really “do” the whole Easter Bunny thing, I didn’t see any sense in making purchasing exceptions for their baskets. We’ve said from the start that we would allow the purchase of hygiene items and food… candy is, after all, edible. Besides, my kids love to get new toothbrushes and Star Wars Band-Aids, and it's fun to watch Peeps expand in the microwave.



I’m glad that this holiday was easy to navigate within our chosen limits. But best of all, I’m glad that the boys understand that Easter is not about chicken embryos and sneaky bunnies. They know that Easter is a celebration of Jesus, the sacrifice for our sin. They know that because of His triumph over death, we can someday reach Heaven.

And that is worth everything in this world!

Reading Books

Today, I’m at the library, utilizing their fabulous bank of computers. Our home computer has been down for a while, so I haven’t had much opportunity to blog. Worse, I haven’t had much opportunity to read other people’s blogs.

Since I haven’t been reading a lot of blogs, I’ve had my nose buried in books. If you don’t care what I’ve been reading, I don’t blame you. I promise I’ll write something more interesting or post pictures of my new garden or something even better next time. For now, you get books.

The kids and I just finished A Series of Unfortunate Events, by Lemony Snicket, on Friday. We celebrated by watching the movie which only covers the first three books, presented out of sequence for the sake of Hollywood. But whatever. I think the boys liked it. I’m not sure what we’re going to read next… I have a few random novels that I’ve checked out from the library, but I’ve also picked up this:

The Wisdom of Harry Potter: What Our Favorite Hero Teaches Us About Moral Choices, by Edmund M. Kern. I’m not sure about reading Harry Potter to the kids, so I’m reading this book to investigate the possibility. Who doesn’t love a teachable moment?

While we were wrapping up Unfortunate Events as a group, the kids were individually devouring Magic Tree House books, by Mary Pope Osborne. Their obsession continues but, at a rate of about one book per day, I have a feeling that they will be done with that series in a blink!

Speaking of kids, I’m reading Taking Back Childhood: Helping Your Kids Thrive in a Fast-Paced, Media-Saturated, Violence-Filled World, by Nancy Carlsson-Paige. Long title, long book. Reading this, I feel like some of my concerns are being validated. I’m not being overprotective… I’m being a responsible parent.

And while we’re on the topic of responsibility, let’s talk about Green Mama: The Guilt-Free Guide to Helping You and Your Kids Save the Planet, by Tracey Bianchi. I’m barely into the first chapter, but I fell in love with her concept in just the introduction! Allow me to quote, “…when it comes to saving the planet, I cannot separate the cause from the Creator of the world.” I love it when authors unashamedly point to God. I can hardly wait to see what the rest of the book has in store!

Finally, at the bottom of the pile, I have Spring Cleaning: The Spirit of Keeping Home, by Monica Nassif. I’ve thumbed through it. It looks informative. And useful. And it means that I have a lot of work to do! Now that the garage sale is done (Praise the Lord!), I can get to it. Oh. Happy. Day.

So that’s it! I have others around the house that I think I’ll read. Soonish. And I have a growing list of books I want to read after these. Imagine if I had started liking to read when I was younger!

I’m so thankful that my children love to read. There are so many things to be read… things to learn and imaginative places to be unlocked. The possibilities are endless!

So… Do you have any recommendations to share?

No Impact? Man!

Around the beginning of our year without buying, I learned of No Impact Man. His name is Colin Beavan, and he lived a year in New York City with no net impact on the environment. No net impact. Since we all have an environmental impact, simply by existing, Mr. Beavan set out to do good for the environment to balance it out.

The No Impact Project offers us all the opportunity to form groups and try this experiment for just one week. While I don’t plan to sign-up for my own No Impact Week, I am inspired by the daily concepts. Last week, The Green Paige participated in a group in New York City and chronicled her adventure en vlog.

Her posts are thought provoking, at least for me – a garbage nerd. Even without participating in a No Impact Week myself, Paige’s posts have heightened my awareness of my own wastefulness. But even better than that, I feel capable of change, of breaking out of the cycle.

As Colin Beavan says, it’s about doing more good… Not just less bad.

I’m not saying that everyone should follow the No Impact Blog, or become a fan of The Green Paige on facebook, although it’s what all the cool kids are doing. I’m just saying that, if you are even the least bit interested in the environment, you might want to.

Praying for Faith

There have been lots of things swirling around my brain since my last post. Yesterday I was trying to decide what I wanted to talk about, finally sitting down to read up on what other bloggers have been talking about, when I read about Faith. And all the swirling came to a halt.

There is urgency here, friends.

Please stop and pray for Faith and her family. You can pray without information, right? If you don’t have a full box of tissues nearby and twenty spare minutes to have an emotional breakdown, I suggest that you stop reading here, shoot up a prayer, and come back later. If you have the time and the tissues, or you think you can handle it (I couldn’t), then continue.

Or should I say, “Welcome back, now that you’re ready to do some heavy sobbing.”

I first read about Faith yesterday on Marla Taviano’s blog. She is an author in Ohio. This is today’s post:

If you missed yesterday’s post, Faith, a little 6-year-old girl at Ava’s school, has just been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. It’s extremely aggressive, and while doctors originally (a couple days ago) gave her six months to live, now they’re saying she could stop breathing in as little as 6 weeks. And I heard from a teacher today that they’re thinking even sooner.

Basically, she needs a complete and total miraculous act of God to live. And that’s what I’m praying for. And will keep praying for until He heals her or takes her home.

Her mom’s faith in God is incredible. She said today that “I do not understand God’s purposes or plans, but nothing that could ever come about in this life will make me love him any less.” You can keep up with how Faith is doing on her Caring Bridge site. And if you didn’t get a chance to leave a comment yesterday, please sign her guestbook. I know she and her family will be so encouraged.

During radiation today, they asked Faith if she could meet anyone in the world, who would it be? Faith’s answer? “Jesus and God.”

Please pray especially for Faith’s sister, Trinity (9) and Faith’s first-grade teacher, Mrs. Taylor. They’re both having a really rough time.

This family’s situation is unfathomable. I struggle to wrap my head (and especially my heart) around coping with such devastating news. Read the Caring Bridge updates. Faith’s mother’s words are awe-inspiring. Her faith in the Lord is extraordinary.

Please join me in prayer for this family.

February 9, 2004

I had been working my new job in the Spiritual Development department at Fellowship Church for exactly one week. During that week, I was alone in my office, awaiting the girl who would fill the empty desk in the room with me. I was pretty nervous about spending so much time in a confined space together. I’ve never been very good at making girlfriends, and there are few women that I trust, or even like, instantly. Very few.

I had no idea what God had in store. I had no idea what type of relationship would be formed within those four walls. How could I have known that this sassy little thing would become one of my very best friends?

Over these six years, we have been through many things. Buying houses, having babies, changing jobs. We’ve endured deep sadness and enjoyed loads of laughter. But through all the changes, the fundamentals of our individual lives - God, our Church, and our priorities - remain constant. This common ground is what keeps our relationship centered and strong.

It has been quite some time since we shared an office. We’ve been in different life stages and had long stretches of time without seeing each other, but our friendship doesn’t miss a beat.

I pray that everyone can have a friendship like this. I love you, Andrea!

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I kind of wish I had some rain boots but, sadly, those are not on the list.

We are one week into our Year Without Buying! This first week has been easy, although there is a beautiful wool hat, left unpurchased, that I lamented for the first couple of days. But I'm over it... I'm getting over it. The boys have, for the most part, stopped their chatter about the toys they plan to buy when the ban has been lifted. I’m thankful for the support and encouragement we have received. Some of you have asked us for details of our plan, which I promised to share, so here you go:

We aren’t living in squalor. We’ll purchase what is necessary to keep up our selves and our house, but nothing superfluous.

We will, of course, cover the basic needs of the family. The kids will not be going to school in rags. They have an insane amount of clothing as it is. On Friday, I pulled forty tee shirts from their closets. Forty. Tee shirts. And they still have plenty left to wear. This is a perfect example of the excess that I want to get out from under. Who needs that many shirts?!

No one.

When their shoes fall apart, which they inevitably will, we’ll figure something out. We’ll barter, hit garage sales or resale shops, or maybe hint around for grandparent intervention. I don’t know.

What I do know is that we serve a God who provides, and that whatever it is that we need, trusting Him, we shall have it.

So, without further adieu, here is a brief list of planned exceptions to our non-buying year.

Food. Of course.

Hygiene items. Because we’re on a mission to cut back on spending, not friends.

Cleaning products. See above. I'd like to add that I am looking into making some of our household cleaners instead of buying them. I already make our laundry detergent, so I’m sure that I could do more. Do you have a home-made cleaner that you use? Post your recipe in the comments!

Landscaping materials. Like plants and mulch and two-by-fours for garden boxes. No birdbaths, wind chimes, or garden gnomes.

Raw materials for homespun projects, as needed. Now, I know that this is a big loop-hole, but I’m determined not to get out of hand. Here’s the deal: We’ll be making gifts for Christmas and other occasions. While we have a LOT of various craftish supplies on hand, I’m sure that there will be little things that we run out of over the course of the year. And I am not about to deny my kids (or myself!) the joy of making a gift for someone because we ran out of paste.

I think that should do it! And, even thought I won’t be going out to buy any, if someone were to anonymously drop off a pair of size nine ladies rain boots, I would very humbly accept them. Just kidding.

Sort of.

Chopping the Lawn

I was outside with the dogs when it started to rain, and I thought of my husband. He and I both love this kind of weather: cool temperatures, overcast skies, and falling rain. The perfect compliment to this weather?

A fire in the fireplace.

Which brings up a bit of a need. It’s only kind of a need, since the fire is just for enjoyment and not for survival. But if we’re going to have a fire, someone is going to have to chop the wood. Preferably before the wood gets soaked by the rain. Andy always chops the wood. It’s just one of those “man things” that he does, and I believe enjoys doing. But I don’t want him to have come home, after working all day, just to go out and chop firewood in the rain. So that leaves it to me.

Let me just say that I’m a bit leery of dangerous-ish physical activities. I have a life… I can’t afford to hurt myself doing something stupid.

But if we’re going to have a fire…

At first I swung tentatively, striking with my eyes closed, lodging the axe somewhere along the middle. Not really splitting the logs, but just nagging them into pieces. Then I got a little more comfortable and swung harder, burying the blade of the axe in my lawn more than a couple of times. Chopping the lawn isn’t as much due to brute strength as it is timidly swinging with my eyes closed. Make note of that. It’s profound.

At some point, I became brave enough to keep my eyes open without imagining a massive shank of wood rendering me blind. And that is when it all came together and I really found joy in the work.

I love the crisp sound of a log splitting with just one swing, the satisfying ease of movement. What a sensation! Every muscle working in tandem to swing hard and hit my target, hearing, feeling, and seeing the wood split.

I’m sure this all seems girly and dumb to you if you’re outdoorsy. Or even if you’re not. Sorry. I’ll make my point now.

As I was working, I realized that this is a great picture of our approach to life. When we are fully engaged in what is going on, the experience is so much better. Timidly chopping wood is lame. With my eyes closed, I often missed the mark. It took longer, it wasn't very satisfying, and it was actually much more difficult. I think the same is true with nearly everything. Think about your work. Even just your drive to work, or anywhere else you may go. Think about parenting your children. Loving your spouse. How much collateral damage is caused by holding something back?

My life is better when I put my whole self in it; when I open my eyes and stop haphazardly chopping the lawn.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Colossians 3:23-24

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

Our Year Without Buying

It has officially begun: An entire year without buying new stuff. I am so excited!

I know I had heard about it somewhere before, but serious consideration began when I read a magazine article last October. Since that time, Andy and I have been talking about it, planning when to begin, negotiating any exceptions to be allowed. (I’ll talk about our exceptions another day.) As we have discussed this endeavor, I have felt God’s increasing urge to commit. I am thrilled that the day is finally here!

I recently found something called The Compact Movement, which you can join online, but I feel like that is a little extreme – at least for us. The Compact appears to be based on environmentalism, stewardship of our planet. But our plan has really blossomed out of stewardship of our personal resources, and the responsibility of teaching stewardship to our children. We are simply challenging ourselves to live a bit more efficiently. I suppose environmentalism is a big part of that, but since we already recycle and compost(as mentioned here), I don’t see that as part of our year-long challenge. Mainly, I want this year to help my family have a lighter attachment to money and especially the things that money can buy.

Maybe this is a little more selfish, because we are doing it for the betterment of our household. But how can we change the world if we don’t first change ourselves?

Right now, the kids don’t get it. They’re seven and nine, and think about toys constantly. When we first told them about our Year Without Buying, they booed. But, quickly understanding that they didn’t have a say, they have started looking toward the positive, which to them means saving money for later spending. (What else?) Yesterday over breakfast they calculated how much money they will accrue if they save their allowance for the year, and listed all the stuff they could buy when the year is through. It’s okay. We’ll let them talk about spending. I think they’ll get tired of the subject and drop it. That’s one of my main goals in this whole concept anyway: That the boys will get bored with the consumer mindset and just let it go. We’ll just have to see how long it takes.

So, for the record, here are the benefits that I anticipate:
Saving money,
Greater appreciation for what we have,
Less trash output (No packaging from new stuff!),
Less greed oozing from my children,
and definitely
Less stuff cluttering our house!

As with all things prompted by God, I know that my expectations are just the tip of the iceberg. I trust that He will guide us through this experience, and believe that the blessings will be far beyond my imagination.

I’m sure that I will have plenty to share about this journey and, whether you think we are ingenious or insane, I’d love your comments as we go along.

Well… here we go!

Sweets!

For the past couple of weeks, our church has been participating in a Daniel fast, eating whole foods. Since standing in the pantry and downing a mouthful of honey straight from the jar is uncouth in some circles, I figured I should come up with more appropriate ways to get my fix. Because I am a girl who just can’t go a day without eating something sweet. Our time of fasting is almost at its end, but I thought I might still post a few of the sweet fast-friendly recipes that we have enjoyed along the way.

Apple Pie Oatmeal
½ cup oatmeal
1 cup water
½ Granny Smith apple, peeled and diced
cinnamon
1 Tbsp pure maple syrup
¼ vanilla soy milk

Mix your oats, water, diced apple, and cinnamon to taste. Cook as directed on your oatmeal package. Stir in maple syrup and vanilla soy milk. It tastes like apple pie!

Crackers Posing as Waffles
Break up Triscuit crackers and drizzle with warmed pure maple syrup. Delicious! (This little treasure was passed along to us by Pastor Scott Wilson, of FC Miami.)

Kettle Corn
For years we have had a hot-air popcorn popper, which I’m sorry to say sat unused in a cabinet until this fast. Pop the kernels, spray with canola oil, sprinkle with salt and natural sweetener. (We are using truvia.)

Chocolate Soy Milk
That’s all there is to say about that.

Sweet & Sour Sauce
½ cup water
4 tsp soy sauce
½ cup white vinegar
½ cup pineapple juice
4 Tbsp cornstarch
1 cup honey

Combine water, soy sauce, white vinegar and pineapple juice in a small saucepan. Stir in honey and cornstarch until evenly mixed. Bring to a boil.

Simmer gently on medium-low heat for 5 minutes, remove from heat.

Serve immediately and refrigerate leftovers. Sauce will thicken to a gel when cold.

This is great on vegetables with whole grain brown rice! The recipe makes quite a lot… we had enough for two meals with plenty left over.



So, friends… What have you been eating?

A Year of Less and, Consequentially, More

Each year, for quite a few in a row, God has blessed my life more and more. I am married to the best husband I know. I have two handsome, healthy little boys, and a lovely home in which to raise them. We go to the greatest church around, full of cherished leaders and friends. We have sweet pets, a wonderful school, and a neighborhood brimming with children as icing on the cake.

We are starting this year out with much, and I hope to finish it with much less. And by this, I know we will gain much more. This may sound like nonsense. I’ll elaborate.

My Pastor talks about the need to “say NO to the good, so you can say YES to the best." We have an abundance of good going on around here, but there’s just so much of it that it’s crowding out the best. So here are a few of my specific goals, to have less and more:

I’m going to be more diligent with the recycling, so my family can put out even less trash.

I’m going to have less caffeine, so I can have more sleep.

I’m going to have less responsibility in the roles I choose at the boys’ school, so I can have more fun with the students!

We’re going to have fewer toys, so there is more appreciation for what we have.

I’m going to have less in my closet, so there is more room to see what’s in there. (And more empty hangers at the ready on laundry days!)

The kids are going to have more responsibilities around the house, so I can feel less like a maid.

And we’re going to do a lot less buying, for several reasons, which I expect to bring about a multitude of blessings. I’ll write more about that another day.


Happy New Year! I hope you enjoy both less and more.