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Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Even if he doesn't.

I don’t worry much. I’m usually pretty open to all of the possibilities; even the undesirable ones. I could become paralyzed with fear if I let all of the “What ifs” command my daily choices. When I find myself stressing about what might happen, my solution is to stop and think through what my next steps would be if that thing actually did occur. It can get pretty morbid, but at least I know that even a major disaster won’t truly be the end of the world. And after all, I’m only imagining.

Last January, my oldest son’s best friend had surgery to remove a cancerous brain tumor. I was a mess. And it wasn't until the day before the surgery that I realized why: I had been praying and praying, but only allowing for the possibility of total healing. I had refused to acknowledge that God might’ve had any other plan. OF COURSE the only thing I wanted was for this precious boy to be healed. But I prayed as though there could be no other outcome.

The most faithful men in history tell a different story. (I’ll paraphrase. Look it up for the full text.) In Daniel 3:17-18, three young men stand up to the king of their land and refuse his demands. This king has the power to end their lives, but their faith is in the Lord and they tell him so. “The God we serve is able to save us, but even if he doesn’t, we still serve Him alone.”

Even if he doesn’t.

Even if he doesn’t, we will never serve anyone else.

Even if he doesn’t save us, he is still our God.

I can’t tell you what it felt like to tell God that it would be okay if he didn’t save Christian from cancer. It was both awful and wonderful to lay that burden down. I thought about his wonderful parents and his precious sister, and the amazing faith that they displayed throughout the entire journey. And I finally recognized that God can do whatever wants and we will still serve Him. He will always be our God.


On Saturday, I attended an event along with 2,000 other people. During the event, the children of two other attendees were involved in a tragic accident. One child was killed and the other two were badly injured, but miraculously survived. The entire assembly stopped to pray.

I just can’t stop thinking about the Hooten and Wallar families. The pain and loss that they are experiencing must be suffocating, but still they breathe. These families are a testament to what faith in the Lord can do in the face of tragedy. I don’t know either family personally. I just happened to be in the same room with them at a pivotal point in their lives. I’ve been crying for them, and praying for them, and checking up on their facebook posts. And what I’ve seen is astounding. The Hootens have turned their loss into an opportunity for others to find Jesus. They are shining the light of Christ in what must be the darkest time of their lives.

I hope that I never have to face what these two families are facing. I know too many parents who have had to bury their children. As many of them have shown, I know that God is greater than any earthly circumstance. I know that He is waiting in Heaven with a place prepared for each person who believes in the saving power of Jesus. And I know that no matter what happens, God is the Lord of all and I will serve only Him.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

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Xo
C

2 comments:

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  2. Baby, this is absolutely amazing. Your faith is unquestionably the most beautiful aspect of who you are...and just one of the billion reasons I am in love with you!

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